Dealing with rejection is a necessary evil to achieving success.
I want you to imagine a number in your mindâa guess about how many times Iâve heard ânoâ to my ideas. Whether it was trying to convince companies to buy my t-shirt advertising space, place a bid to own my last name, sponsor a page in my first book, or buy one of the 20+ products Iâve released in the past few years.
Do you have your number?
If your number was under 100, you have a lot of faith in me and I love you for that, but oh no, Iâm so sorry. You were way off.
If your number was lower than 4,000, you would still be wrong.
Iâm sure the actual number of times Iâve been told ânoâ when asking someone to pay me money for something (since 2008) is higher than 4,000. Hereâs how I can say that:
- I wrote at least 1,000 tweets to people to buy spots on the IWearYourShirt calendar
- I sent at least 500 emails in 2009 to companies to sponsor IWearYourShirt
- I wrote over 2,500 emails to people Iâd worked with previously (or had talked to previously) to sponsor my book
- I had a spreadsheet of 250 companies I pitched to bid on my last name
- Iâve sent over 50 emails to my various email lists (that range in size from 2,000 – 25,000 people) asking them to buy my products
And boy oh boy, have I racked up the ânos.â
Just Because Someone Says “No” Doesn’t Mean You Should Feel Rejection
People arenât saying ânoâ because youâre a bad person.
Early on, I took a ânoâ to mean I was doing something wrong and that I should feel bad about it. What I started to realize though was not that I was a bad person, it was simply that my ask wasnât a good fit for the person on the other end for a myriad of reasons.
Sometimes people donât even have to say the word ânoâ to you. They simply donât reply to your ask. They donât buy your product. They donât take an action youâd like them to take. Again, even these things donât mean youâre a bad person.
Here are a few different examples of why people say ânoâ that have nothing to do with you (or me) as a person:
The timing is wrong
I see this all the time. In fact, I tend to see it every year during the months of June, July, August, and December. Those are the worst months, historically, for me, and the onslaught of ânos.â People are busy with other things. Theyâre trying to take time off. Or, itâs the end of the year and they canât be bothered. I do not control the timing and schedules of other people, therefore, I am not a bad person.
It isnât in the budget
You simply canât do anything about other peopleâs budgets. You canât. If I could, I would invent a magic wand that increases all budgets. I would have waved this wand more than Harry Potter (budgetus increasimus!).
It doesnât fit with their marketing plan
Well, guess what? You and I didnât create their marketing plan! Moving on.
Theyâve tried this type of thing before and had a bad experience
I donât get this one as often with my weird ideas, but I do get it with products I sell that have been similar to other products out there. We canât change a personâs experience with another product. We can give them an opportunity to change their mind by explaining how our product or service is different (and how it specifically solves a problem for them).
They donât see the value
This is the only example on this list that gets a bit tricky. Itâs either a problem with how you and I are explaining our project and the value proposition behind it or the person weâre trying to get a âyesâ from just doesnât get it. I imagine you know Iâve dealt with this a time or two with my weird ideas.
I could go on and on with more examples but the point is…
You need to remove yourself, and the feeling of being personally attacked when someone says ânoâ to you.
Find gold in your ânosâ (not nose) and use rejection to your advantage
This was a little trick I wish Iâd stumbled upon way earlier in my time as an entrepreneur. Regardless of where you are in your journey, maybe this trick will help you going forward.
When I was pitching sponsors for my first book project, I had the company Gumroad on my list. (Gumroad is a company that can help you sell digital products.) I thought theyâd be the perfect fit for the cover sponsor of my book (a $20,000 ask). Through some Internet sleuthing, I found a guy on Twitter who was doing marketing for Gumroad.
Side note, cool tip thing: In an article I co-wrote with my friend Matt, he found a way to use Google to try to find anyoneâs email address at any company. Itâs not guaranteed to work, but itâs better than picking your nose. Read the Google hack here.
I sent my pitch email about my $20,000 sponsorship request (ballsy, yes) and was happy to get a quick reply from the guy. Unfortunately, quick replies typically go one of two ways:
1. The person is on-board immediately and youâve won! You can now swim through your money like Scrooge McDuck.
2. The person says ânoâ and you have to go back to the drawing board.
The quick response I received was a #2 type of response (and yes, I meant that as a poop euphemism). For some odd reason, I wasnât ready to accept defeat in that moment. I fired back an email that went something like this:
âHey ! Thanks for the quick reply. I totally understand this type of sponsorship isnât a good fit for everyone. That being said, is there any chance you think of anyone off the top of your head that might be a good fit? If you have an email address or have the time to make a super quick intro, I would greatly appreciate it!â
I had no clue if that message would actually get a worthwhile response and any meaningful introductions. But hey, as the not-so-old-adage-you-just-learned goes, you donât get what you donât ask for!
I received a reply, and it was exactly what Iâd hoped for (not always the case⌠budgetus increasimus againumys!) The guy had two companies he thought would be interested and he was willing to make a short email intro for me. BOOMSHAKALAKA! (NBA Jam ref, anyone?) Needless to say, I was stoked.
I didnât know if these email intros would turn into anything, but for the first time in my life, I had taken an ânoâ email and turned it into a potential âyes.â
That email response lead to two introductions. One of which was the CEO of a company called Treehouse, an online education platform. Iâd actually met the CEO, Ryan Carson, at one of Future of Web Apps (FOWA!) conferences many years prior. While the introduction was great, I still had to put in the work to convince Ryan that Treehouse would be a good fit for the $20,000 sponsorship I was asking for. And spoiler alert: Ryan and Treehouse said YES, which you can read more about in the SponsorMyBook story.
You wonât always find gold, but at least youâre trying
Now for some honesty, because thatâs how I roll: Landing Treehouse for my book has, to date, still been my biggest victory in turning a ânoâ into a âyes.â Sure, Iâve had a handful of other victories over the years. However, Iâve had my fair share of additional ânosâ as well. And the pile of additional ânosâ is exponentially taller than the pile of converted ânos to yeses.â But I just keep trying.
Why?
I want to succeed more than Iâm afraid to fail.
I want the dream more than I fear the rejection that comes from making an ask.
I want to succeed more than Iâm afraid to fail.
I know from experience that every ânoâ is another opportunity to hear âyesâ later on.
Iâm willing to put myself out on the line, because I know thatâs what it takes to have incredible things happen in life.
I hope you want those things for whatever it is youâre trying to get. Because if you donât, then itâs time to figure out what youâre really looking for.
Ready to sniff out some nos of your own?
A challenge for you today: try to get a “no” on one of your ideas. Email a potential sponsor, press send on that podcast interview request, or just ask your local Krispy Kreme to make you some Olympic ring donuts (video below). âSometimes, when you make a crazy request, you get an awesome answer.â